29/05/2012
heart over head.
I suppose I have always followed my heart and ‘ignored’ my head. The story begins in January of last year. I am eighteen. I meet a beautiful boy. I fall in love lust. We speak sometimes. He’ll tease and flirt. I find out he has a girlfriend so I back away. He continues to talk to me in an innapropriate manner. I get used to it. I almost like it. I like his attention but know it is wrong. Months pass and nothing’s really changed. Then, he completely stops talking to me after we nearly kiss. Nothing happened, though. He then messages me a couple of months later asking me about my A-level results. I ask why he ignored me. He said he wanted things to ‘fizzle out’. He then continues to message me even though he knows I am not happy that he has a girlfriend. I ask if he really loves her. He says ‘yes’. He talks about sex a lot. I ignore him for a couple of months because he either wants me properly or not at all. He then sends other messages like ‘I can’t get over you’. Things which make me feel wanted. A couple of months pass. It is now March 2012. He messages me saying that he is now single. I believe him. He carries on like nothing ever happened, he wants to sleep with me. It is now May 2012. A couple of days ago I found out that he is still with his girlfriend. He lied. It hurts. I have to move on. It will be head over heart from now on.
